by Stephanie Fassov, PRC-Saltillo Ambassador
Building a Life That Feels Right for You
Your Voice Matters
When people discuss AAC, they sometimes only consider the vocabulary, buttons, symbols, or the device. But AAC is really about you.
You have ideas.
You have feelings.
You have things you care about.
These special things you care about are called values. Values help you choose what feels good and right in your heart.
ACT, which stands for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, helps individuals listen to their values. ACT helps you make choices that match who you are, not who others want you to be. You can use ACT ideas too. ACT helps you say, “This is the life I want.”
A Story About Trying to Make Others Happy
When I was young, I tried very hard to be the “good Catholic girl” that my family wanted. I went to church every week. I learned the prayers. I practiced the rituals. I tried to sit still and appear as though I understood everything. My family smiled when I followed the rules, so I kept doing it.
But inside, I felt something different. The prayers felt like words I memorized, not words from my heart. I felt like I was acting. I wanted my family to feel proud, so I kept going, even though it didn't feel like me.
Later, I learned something important about myself. My real value was having a personal relationship with God. I liked the quiet moments when I talked to God in my own way. I felt peaceful when I was honest and straightforward, not when I followed rituals that felt empty to me. Those quiet moments felt true and warm inside.
You can sometimes feel this, too. You might choose things because others want you to, even when it does not feel right inside. This can make a person feel confused or small. Values help you rediscover your true self.
Finding What Comes From You
Your values belong to you. No one gets to choose them for you. You can listen to your heart by asking yourself simple questions, such as, “What feels important to me right now?” or “Does this make me feel good inside?”
Your helpers can support you by asking, “What do you want?” or “How does this feel for you?” When helpers ask these questions with kindness, your real voice gets stronger.
In my work as a peer AAC mentor and peer counselor, once I told a client, “I see that you really value chocolate almond milk.” This skill is known as reflecting value, which comes from the person-centered therapy framework. It may seem small, but small things show what someone cares about. Little values are still real values.
Noticing What Makes You Light Up
Your values show up when you feel excited, calm, proud, or connected. These moments are clues about what matters to you.
Maybe you smile big when you see your best friend. Maybe your body relaxes when you listen to music. Perhaps you feel proud when you accomplish something on your own. You may feel a sense of connection when someone listens to your message on your AAC system with patience.
You can ask yourself, “What do I love about this?” or “Why is this important to me?” These questions help you gain a deeper understanding of your heart.
Checking In With Yourself
Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening inside you. You might stop and ask, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What am I thinking?”
This can help you determine if something resonates with you. While sitting in church, I finally asked myself, “Does this feel meaningful?” After listening to my heart, I realized the answer was no. That helped me discover what I did, and, more importantly, what I didn’t value.
Mindfulness gives you time to understand what is really yours.
Letting Go of Outside Pressure
Sometimes people feel pushed by what others want. ACT can help with this. One of the ACT skills, called cognitive defusion, asks you to say, “I am having the thought that…” This enables you to see a thought as just a thought, rather than taking it as a reality.
You might tell yourself, “I am having the thought that I should do what others want,” and then you can choose what truly matters to you. Thoughts do not get to boss you around.
You can use words like “Pause,” “Check,” or “What do I want?” on your device. These words help you slow down and listen to yourself.
Fun Ways to Explore What Matters to You
You can learn your values in fun and creative ways. You can make a vision board with pictures you like. You can make a symbol story on your device. You can collect photos that make you happy. You can record a message about what matters to you.
You can think about questions like, “What makes me feel close to people?”, “What makes me feel proud?”, or “What do I want more of in my life?” These ideas help your values grow stronger and clearer.
Turning Values Into Action
Values become real when you use them in your everyday life. If you value friendship, consider sending a message to a friend. If you value creativity, you may create art or invent something new. If you value independence, you might choose one thing each day by yourself.
Small steps make a big difference. Each step says, “This is who I am.”
Being Brave
Sometimes following your values feels scary. It was tough for me to tell my family that the Catholic rituals did not match my true feelings. But choosing honesty helped me feel whole again.
You also have brave moments. You might tell someone what you really want. Try something new. You might speak up about a need or feeling. Helpers can say, “I am here,” or “This is brave,” or “Your voice matters,” because it does.
Celebrate Your True Voice
When you make choices that match your values, it is something to celebrate. Your true voice is special. It deserves space. It deserves warmth. It deserves respect.
You deserve a life that feels like you: honest, joyful, connected, and authentic.
Glossary
AAC
Tools that help people communicate, such as devices, apps, symbols, or boards.
AAC Communicator
A person who uses AAC to share ideas, feelings, and choices.
Access Method
How you communicate on your AAC, such as through touch, eye gaze, head tracking, or scanning.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
A way to help you notice your thoughts and feelings and choose what matters to you.
Values
Things that are important to you, like kindness, faith, fun, or friends.
Value-Based Living
Making choices that match what you care about.
Authentic Voice
Your real voice. What YOU think and feel.
Support System
People who help you, like family, friends, teachers, or helpers.
Reflection
Thinking about what you like, feel, or want.
Person-Centered Therapy
A way of helping people that listens to what YOU think and feel with unconditional positive regard, empathetic understanding, and genuineness.
Mindfulness
Paying attention to what is happening inside you right now.
Defusion
Saying, “I am having the thought that…” so you can choose what to do next.
Expectations
Do what other people want you to do.
Inner Experience
Your thoughts, feelings, and body signals.
Symbol Story
A story you make with AAC pictures or symbols.
Vision Board
Pictures that show what you want in your life.
Values Questions
Questions like “What do you love?” or “What matters to you?”
Choice-Making
Picking what YOU want.
Courage
Doing something that matters even when it feels hard.
Authenticity
Being your true self.
Values-Based Action
Doing something that aligns with your values, such as talking to a friend, creating art, or standing up for yourself.
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